2013 - new year, same shit...

So, you thought there was not going to be a new year post? Well, there was no 2012 good bye post, but I feel like writing something for this 2013. Something fast and intense, pffft, who am I kidding? I feel like shit, this was one of the worst Christmas EVER! No mom, no pop, sister in another state, heart broken and depressed.

Well, I decided I'm gonna do a little confession, a little heart opening, and yet it will be wrapped up in lies... lies that may be only understood by a hand full of people. Ok, lets do this shit.

2012 was such a ride, met new people, reunited with some old friends, and found love where I thought that flower could not bloom. I also found good friends, brothers and loyal warriors that have stood by my side in the most difficult times.

But not everything was good, I found myself betrayed, heart broken, disappointed, and most of all... lost.

Shit I really don't think I'm able to fully express myself, and say all the things I have in mind, 'cause in the end it hurt, it still hurts. 'Cause I swear I still love that which is gone and part of me wants it back (even if it hurts me and wounds me to death), and another part of me know it is not the time, and that time may never come. 2013 comes with new expectations, with new hopes, but those hopes cannot become high hopes until past has fixed itself, and old feelings find a way to fit into the present time. This new year is full of the same bullshit, as many years before, unfinished business will crawl out of their graves to haunt my present, I just fucking know it. I just hope the storm is not as wild as in past years, I'm tired, I'm sick, I'm not sure if I will be able to take it, if I will be able to withstand all of its rage.

Let's hope 2013 comes with peace, or at least a more controllable chaos... and though I can take all of its chaos, I just feel so tired, I need to find new strength, find a new source of inspiration, a new will.

Hope you have a good year, a year of beautiful madness and inspiring chaos.

Nailo Gottblut.
09-01-13